Of Recruitment Consultants.............

This one I could not resist. I'm sure I echo the pain of millions of IT jobseekers when I post this. I'm really not sure whether I'm getting a bit emotionally motivated to post this, but I just had to make a point.

For any job seeker worth his resume, especially in the IT field, we have got into the habit of recieving 35 mails a day from recruitment consultants trying to convince you that you are a right fit for a profile that has nothing to do.

Just for the record, I'm an IT Infrastructure Consultant. I advise and guide customers about how to use IT Infrastructure effectively. My experience in writing code is limited to C and Perl and that too, just for kicks. I've never written commercial code in my life.

And then I recieve a mail which tries to convince me that I'm the one to do it. After 9 long years honing my skills in Networks. Here is the mail, verbatim. I thought I'd spare the recruitment consultant his 15 minutes of infamy, so I let Mr. CottonEye Joe from XYZ speak to me:

*****************************************************************

Hi Professional,

while congratulating you for your resume being picked and short-listed by us for Top 10 clients in INDIA.

We are pleased to let you know that one of our reputed client is looking for a qualitative professional just like you.
Our client particularly looking for the following skills: Technical Architecture - Microsoft Professionals with 5 to 9 years of IT Experience only.

Demand - Skill/location specification is as below

SKILL LEVEL LOCATION

Technical Architecture - Microsoft .Net Professionals
TL
Bangalore,Mu! mbai,Hyd erabad,Chennai

Technical Architecture - Microsoft .NET Professionals
AM
Bangalore, Chennai

Education: B.E degree in Computer Sciences, Electronics or equivalent; extensive experience and demonstration of required skills may be considered substitutes for
degreed educat! ion.

XYZ - In constant pursuit of Excellence
XYZ will provide you with a world full of opportunities, enviable avenues, very alluring yet enterprising cities, most incredible pay packets and some of the most prestigious corporate companies to choose from and work with. We are glad to have some of the fortune 500 companies in our clients' list to challenge your appetite for the best in the market.

Talent, merit, intelligence, hard work, and perseverance are the things we revere and respect. We value your ingenuity and strive to fit you in the best available! job and position you rightfully deserve. We see to it t! hat you will get the boost to reach for the highest orbit of your career.

XYZ - add wings to your career!

Kindly send your updated Resume along with your salary details and contact details to us in the next available moment to help us help you build your dream career.

TREAT THIS MATTER MOST URGENT AND RESPOND IMMEDIATELY.

Please send us the following details:

Current and Expected CTC:!
Notice Period:
Preferred location :
Date of Birth:
Mobile no:
Email id! :
First name:
Last name:

Kindly send your updated Resume to us in the next available moment to help you build your dream career.
&! nbsp;

Best ! Wishes
CottonEye Joe, XYZ

************************************************************************

This mail actually left me with a myraid of emotions.

It started with "elation", I've always wanted to be known as a Professional..... maybe the best way would be to make it my first name??

Then it turned to clear "joy", I had finally got so famous that I can get shortlisted for a job without an interview.

"our reputed client is looking for a qualitative professional just like you." Sure, do they look for other types as well?? Feeling: Bow down before the Master, lowly employers!!!

Then comes disbelief! Microsoft .NET!!??!! My resume is out there is cyberspace, but I can lay a bet that .NET never even featured as a typo in it!!! At this point, I kinda felt like Neo in the Matrix, where he says..." I know kung fu". Only thing, Morpheus answered, "Sure thing. No need to show me".

After this I lost track of it. Frankly because when someone is telling me about a job, I want to hear the job description. That's what they taught me in Business school!!! But then there's no more job and I get a nice marketing pitch about the recruitment consultant company.

I have still to find a recruitment consultant who is not "In constant pursuit of Excellence" and who will not "provide you with a world full of opportunities".

But then this would take the cake. "enviable avenues, very alluring yet enterprising cities". I'm still wondering!! If you can figure this one out, mail me.

"Kindly send your updated Resume to us in the next available moment to help you build your dream career." Sounds like an infomercial, doesn't it... "Our operators are standing by. Call now".

I think a disclaimer would look professional as well, in addition to that marketing tirade. Something like "If this mail is not relevant to you, please ignore the same". But NO!! The mail had to end perfectly unapologetic for wasting my time, filling up space in my mailbox and abusing my personal information which they had [I'm referring to my email id, which incidentally also contains my REAL FIRST NAME].

So now you know, with what confused emotions, I write this post. I wonder if my fellow professionals in other countries have it as bad. If only they read my resume, those two pages that I've slaved over for nine long years!!

I guess I'll just go lie down for a while now.....................